Husbands and Wives

(The Tiff, also called Sunlight and Shadow, by William
 Merritt Chase, 1849-1916, American artist)

About three decades ago, Dear Abby, an advice columnist syndicated in newspapers across the country, published these ten rules for a happy marriage.

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your spouse.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong usually is the one who does most of the talking.

HUSBANDS AND WIVES

Two broken hearts, lonely, looking like
Houses where nobody lives.
Two people each having so much pride inside,
Neither side forgives.

Angry words spoken in haste,
Such a waste of two lives.
It’s my belief, pride is the chief cause in the decline
In the number of husbands and wives.

A woman and a man, a man and a woman,
Some can, some can’t, and some can.

~ Roger Miller (1936-1992), American singer and songwriter

My favorite version is by a Canadian jazz group, the Susie Arioli Band featuring Jordan Officer on the guitar, and found on their CD Learn to Smile Again.

Evolution

(Official Program - Woman Suffrage Procession, or parade, in Washington on March 13, 1913, by American artist Benjamin Dale; inspired by many images of the medieval woman warrior Joan of Arc, 1412?-1431, going into battle on her steed)

American women finally won the right to vote in all elections when Congress ratified the Nineteenth Amendment to the Constitution ninety years ago next month, on August 18, 1920.

The first legal vote cast by a woman had taken place in 1756, under British rule, but it was an anomaly. That year, in Uxbridge, Massachusetts, the town’s wealthiest landlord and taxpayer died. Captain Josiah Taft left no male heirs of adult age. Mindful of the principle of “no taxation without representation” and facing the important question of support for the French and Indian Wars, the open town meeting allowed his widow, Lydia Chapin Taft, to vote on behalf of the estate.

In the years following, the women’s cause moved slowly, step by step. Some jurisdictions allowed women to vote in limited local elections. Others would grant them suffrage, only to rescind it later.

The women persevered. As they spoke out for the abolition of slavery, so too did they argue for women’s suffrage.

One of the “most unique and interesting speeches” of the Women’s Convention held in Akron, Ohio, in 1851, was made by Sojourner Truth, an emancipated slave. Marius Robinson wrote about her speech that day in an issue of the Anti-Slavery Bugle. She spoke with humor and even some sarcasm: “The poor men seem to be all in confusion, and don’t know what to do. Why children, if you have women’s rights, give it to her and you will feel better. You will have your own rights, and they won’t be so much trouble. I can’t read, but I can hear. I have heard the bible and have learned that Eve caused man to sin. Well, if woman upset the world, do give her a chance to set it right side up again.”

EVOLUTION

Said Mr. Jones in Nineteen-Ten:
“Women, subject yourselves to men.”
Nineteen-Eleven heard him quote:
“They rule the world without the vote.”
By Nineteen-Twelve, he would submit
“When all the women wanted it.”
By Nineteen-Thirteen, looking glum,
He said that it was bound to come.
This year I heard him say with pride:
“No reasons on the other side!’
By Nineteen-Fifteen, he’ll insist
He’s always been a suffragist.
And what is really stranger, too,
He’ll think that what he says is true.

~ Alice Duer Miller (1874-1942), American poet